Looking like a jackass probably means you're learning something

I'm learning a lot lately. Which is good. I can go home and tell my Dad that the $11,000 program he invested in was DEFINITELY worth it. Here are today's life lessons:

1. When a class is listed from 10 - 11, it does not mean 10 - 10:55. Therefore, do not walk into class 5 minutes early being the prepared student you are because you're going to be told that there are still 5 minutes left of lecture time for the previous class. This will probably take place very awkwardly - i.e. in a small classroom where there is one professor and three students. Not to be confused with the beginning of the next class when it is the same freaking picture.

2. When a class says it starts at 11 and your bus is running a wee bit late, no need to sweat bullets, check your cell constantly, or worry about the delay. While classes do end on the hour, they do not start until about 10 minutes after the hour. Thank you Lady's Degree, though, for your help.

3. Let the bus pull up to you. This is not Allendale, Michigan where two buses open their doors at the same time if there is one right behind another. In Edinburgh, if you walk to the second bus, be prepared to stand there watching the bus driver who avoids ALL eye contact only to pull up to where you were just standing 30 seconds ago. Be prepared to enter the bus with your head down and your pride swallowed because all 40 passengers have just watched you "learn".

4. "Muppet" is the Scottish word for "tool" - i.e. Prince Harry is such a muppet for making yet another racist joke. The UK version of Yahoo! also told me today that because of such actions, Prince Harry will now attend a equality and racial forum as an public apology. Tsk, tsk Prince Harry. The slap on the wrist this time will be nothing compared to future public apologies of having to actually do something.

5. Scotland does not share the same appreciation for Friday the 13th as America does. This saddens me. It's so few and far between that Friday the 13th happens. Except check your February and March calendars for 2009. WHEN, IN THE HISTORY OF MANKIND, HAS FRIDAY THE 13TH OCCURED IN TWO CONSECUTIVE MONTHS?! There I go...looking all American again.

6. Don't call me. Phone me.

7. When making a purchase at the local grocery store, buy one item at a time. It is only a block away, after all. This will prevent you from selfishly grabbing a whopping eight items and slowing down the entire check out lane because you cannot coordinate getting your money out and unsticking the insanely static-clung plastic grocery bags. Also, I wouldn't recommend trying to pull apart two static-clung plastic grocery bags when you can't feel your frozen fingers therefore causing you to look like a freaking T-Rex with inoperable arms (...think "I have a big head. And little arms!"). Furthermore, do NOT proceed to lick your fingers thinking this will give you the traction you need to successfully open this ridiculously clung plastic bag. Because when you're already in a panic, that same "My bus is running late!"-type sweat starts again, the line of people watching you has now increased by 20%, the grocery employee is holding the next customer's juice just watching you, and then you lick your fingers?...makes you out to be the biggest idiot in all of Scotland. To be safe, let's say all of the UK.

Overall, the major lesson I'm learning is to swallow my pride first thing every morning. Idiot moments in moderation are far better than a solitary epic fail.

You're welcome.